The Art of Slacking Off

North Carolina.. I’ve lived pretty much my entire 31.9999 years in your hands.. since I was 4 years old. I left you when I was 21 to fight for you. I was ready when you and I and our motherland were attacked on September 11, 2001. I was ready to fight again when I learned that my unit was going to be sent to Haiti to help with their broken government. I have had your back since I was old enough to understand what those words truly mean. I defended you when people from out of state put you down for being a bunch of backward, redneck, Southern hillbillies.

Tonight, North Carolina, I am sadden to tell you this but you have broken my heart almost as bad as the day I found out my partner (who was a boy, mind you) died in a boating accident at the age of 17.. in fact, last Saturday was the 15th anniversary of his death.. yes.. six days before my own 17th birthday which just so happened to be on Mother’s Day that year.

Nothing else.. not all the times I’ve been cheated on, the times I’ve had my heart broken by women who weren’t worth staying in my life, the times that I’ve had friends desert me for being gay or Pagan or vegan even..

All those times pale in comparison to knowing that you, North Carolina, have decided to add one of the most hateful messages into your lifeforce.. the North Carolina State Constitution.

However much you have decided to hurt me and kick me while I’m down.. I can only think of one thing:

”Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” ― Mary Anne Radmacher

You have decided to show me that you hate me after all. You have turned your back on me, North Carolina, but it’s going to be okay. Why? Because I will wake up tomorrow still living right here in your hands. I will still have your back.. even though you have shown me that you no longer have mine.

I’ve always loved you North Carolina and I always will. One day, I hope you’ll realize that and love me back.